Monday, February 25, 2013

Students and Parents


I spent time with my 3rd grade host teacher last week Thursday, Feb. 24th and Friday, Feb 25th. My host teacher gained permission for me to observe a parent/teacher conference about one of her students.  The mother gave permission because I had her daughter, which the conference was about, when she was in 4K.  The teacher was concerned about her student because she feels she “just can’t do anything” and will cry.  My host teacher explained the strategies she has used such as working one-on-one with her to help build the child’s confidence, gave her extra time to finish her test/assignment and finally for group work she placed child in a group that was working on her favorite book for reading.  Still the child would give up and at time shed tears.

     I observed the conference from the teacher’s desk which was behind the teacher and mother who were sitting at desks next to each other.  I did not offer any suggestions nor did I take notes because I did not want the mother to feel uncomfortable.  The teacher opened the conference with a prayer and then reviewed why they were meeting.  The mother explained that her child gets this way from time to time and was happy the teacher was working with her the way she had.  Together they brainstormed ways to help the child and the final decision came from the mother to have the child tough it out and work out of the extra time and make her finish within the time given.  She feels her daughter needs the pressure to snap out of it. The host teacher agreed to what the parent wanted but had the mother agree to meet again in a week to see if there was any difference.  The mother promised she would encourage as much as she could at home and would make sure her daughter felt confident the night before.  The teacher is going to “front load” the student by giving her the reading she would need to do the night before and give her “homework” which will be review for the student. 

     So here is what I learned from this conference:  Parents always know what is best even if you disagree.  But the teacher can always give the student a “head start” to new information the night before and have the child review to build confidence. 

     I did spend time with my host teacher for the last hour and half of the day to watch her with her students last Friday.  For the class this hour is filled with anything they would like to finish up and for extra study help.  The children all need to be busy though.  I observed her help a boy with math he felt “stuck on” and give another girl flash cards for multiplication tables for a quick check on.  When the boy was done she showed the flash cards to the girl who missed a few from her 8’s table.  The teacher encouraged her to go through them one more time and come back.  She then gave another student art supplies to finish a project and listened to a boy read for a few minutes.  The girl came back with her flash cards and still missed 8x7.  The teacher encouraged her and the girl wanted to try again. 

     I observed this teacher giving her students encouragement and asking them if she could show them “tricks” for remembering and offering children a chance to unwind with art to finish or start.  The children seemed happy and will to finish work and ask questions.  I liked the relaxed feel this time seemed to have.  I stayed with her during dismissal where the teacher chatted with parents briefly giving some quick updates of the day such as something the child accomplished or said that made her day. Most every parent heard something positive about their child which made the parent quickly hug or pat them on the shoulder and smile.   This reinforced the power of sharing positive messages with parents!  Afterwards we talked for a while about her interactions with parents.  She allows the parents to text her, email her, call her and chat afterschool with her.  She said most parents take advantage of the school’s email system and the importance of quickly responding back.  I learned that the faster a teacher can respond the better the parent feels and solutions can take place.

3 comments:

  1. It must have been valuable to observe a parent/teacher conference. I find I learn a lot when I am observing then when I am part of the action. Your point about families knowing what best for their children is absolutely true. I have learned some issues are touchy with families. About a year ago, in my toddler classroom, one of the children never wore shoes. Her mother explained it will help with her walking if she does not wear shoes. My co teacher and I explained the DCFS requirement and the safety reasons behind children having shoes on when in the center. A week later, the child was wearing slipper type shoes (I do not remember the name). We did not press the issue, because the parent was already frustrated, so we let the child wear the soft shoes. When it comes to issues sensitive to the family, there is a fine line between the teacher and family member.
    -Brooke B.

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  2. That is a great experience for you to have. I am glad that they all let you do that. You are right about parents "knowing" the best for their child. It is often more like the parents do not want to deal with the fight so they let the child do what they want to avid confrontation, and let the teacher be the bad guy. I have been on the other end of that more than once. Parents come into the classroom telling their children that they can not have something because I will not allow it. So the child is mad at me, because the parent can not say no.

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  3. Beth, I would like to thank you for your post on my blog. I was glad to see that you are seeing some of the same things that I am seeing in the lunch room. I was also glad to see that someone else shares my views on Lunchables. I did do some research on your question about gym class and recess. And yes, it is a factor, children need to get up and move not only for their bodies, but for their brains as well. Thank you so much for your comments on my blog, your question did help in my research.
    Sarah

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